and hello to the lap of luxury...
Okay, sort of but not really. It's a really big space that is really not-so-cheap (800 RMB per night... or $117.36 USD), but it's completely impractical. The morning buffet is not included, and it costs beyond the acceptable norm (168 RMB per adult... or $24.65 USD)... not to mention that it's really exceptionally average. The square footage of the bathroom is huge, but the workable counter space is terribly small. The refrigerator is smaller. The internet access has more glitches. For us, the bigger space just means it's harder to find anything. I much preferred the Dolton Hotel in Changsha... which would probably shock Echo and Shinko to hear. I could never drink enough complimentary coconut milk or eat enough cantaloupe wedges to even it out...
On the flip side, the shower head is very nice, the furniture is nice, the hotel staff is very nice, and the hotel is well located. Unlike Changsha, we will be able to get around on our own, and Echo and Shinko actually seem comfortable with us heading out solo. Maybe they just didn't think we personally weren't up to the challenge of heading out in the Hunan Province. I don't know. We definitely like it here better. The people here have been marginally more courteous than up north.
We still get "train-crash" stares everywhere we go, but there have been just enough people who have been able to look beyond the malformation and treat her as a baby/toddler. Yes, there are some who practically gasp when they see her. There are some who do a 180-degree turn just to keep staring at her. But I thank Him for the one woman who approached us, warmly greeted us, warmly talked to her, and then invited us to her store. We were so thrilled with her warmth that we gladly went and spent $31 USD in her store. She gave Cassidy and Shari a few free gifts... (I didn't get squat.)
All I need is that one person to occasionally come along who looks beyond Cassidy's current facial features and just loves on the baby. If not for those people, the streets become unbearable for me. The more crowded the streets, the more unbearable. Echo tried to say that people are just curious, and when I brought up the gasping, she just said these people cannot imagine trying to raise someone like her and that they would probably never take her out of the house. I can relate to that. I'm not ashamed of her, but I don't want her treated that way. Papa Bear is having a hard time dealing with people looking at her in a negative way.
Papa Bear is becoming increasingly aware that had he even intended to bring Cassidy to Faith Family any time soon, he is not going to do it because he currently doesn't trust himself to respond as a good witness. I know that all it would take is some idiotic comment from a teenager (or adult) to set me completely off. Can you imagine being stared at day after day and not being able to respond or defend your little one? I keep wanting to ask Shinko and Echo how to say, "Can I help you...?" or, "What the hell is your problem?" in Mandarin, but the Big Man The only saving grace is that she currently does not understand what the stares are for, and I pray that her condition will be settled before she gains that understanding.
All things are possible... like me getting back to a place of peace and joy. Maybe that will help me regain some lost ground with the girl. I've elected to give her as much space as she wants because trying to maintain proximity and holding her during Mama's occasional excursions to the bathroom seems to have set us back some. I'm convinced more and more that she will only come around once she sees how the other kids react to me.
Oh well. Enough for now. Maybe I'll get back to a happy enough place to start taking pictures again.
I cannot say enough how marvelous Shinko and Echo have been. We do not know what we would have done without them. They have made everything as effortless as humanly possible.
For December 25th, we're going to get her an empty two-liter...
2 comments:
She is so stinking cute. I love it. She certainly already has quite the personality based on the video clips you've been posting. And should fit right in with your rough and tumble crew.
When do you all get to come home?
Praying for you guys.
It looks like someone is still feeding the mummy...
Roberto here. I just wanted to share a few (hopefully) encouraging thoughts from our adoption experiences:
It sounds like Cassidy is responding to you the way our Merriella responded to me when we went to get her in June 2006. It took about six (yes, 6) months before she was alright with me. Today, you would never know that Merriella was ever anything but totally in love with me from the moment we met! Great love applied over a period of time eventually makes an impact.
I just came to the point where I tried to view the world from her perspective: You see, while I thought I was taking Merriella from an orphanage to a nice loving family, she probably saw the whole process as more akin to a KIDNAPPING! It even took Merriella a week to be okay with her mom, Laura, holding and caring for her. Up until then, Merriella only wanted her teenage sisters, Morgan and Hannah to hold her and attend to her needs.
Cassidy will get used to you and she will come to recognize that you love her very much. Be patient. Don’t get angry with Cassidy, or withdraw from her. She WILL come around! Shari is probably feeling more than a little stressed by Cassidy’s rejection of you as well – Laura certainly felt great heartache because of Merriella’s rejection of me.
As far as the staring and comments go, we got plenty of that as well when we picked up Cory in December 2007:
You see, Cory was born without a foot. Groups would gather and cluster around us for a closer look, or even try to feel his leg!A couple people in China took the liberty to inform me (in English) that “he not a good boy...”. I just replied, “Oh yes, he’s a VERY GOOD BOY!” And we said, “No touch” as we motioned them away. I would also take pictures of the people stopping to stare – I think that helped get a point across...
I know it’s frustrating, but it’s an opportunity to share the love of Christ with others. Laura and I discussed the responses we were getting and just decided that that was the way we would handle it. After all, love is a decision. But, by the time we left China, Laura was ready to leave because of responses to Cory.
Be prepared to get some of that here too. Americans may not be as overt as a whole, but you’ll find some that stare and speak before they think. For all I know, I was at least as bad before Christ changed me.
So, let people see the love of Christ in you as you love your beautiful daughter, and as you graciously deal with how insensitive they may be.
Lost people act lost because they’re... lost.
Hope it helps a little. Feel free to call me anytime – day or night when you return.
Blessings,
Roberto Vazquez
P.S. Merriella couldn’t chew when we got her (she was 2 yrs. old). She would hold food in her mouth until it dissolved. Sometimes we’d find some in her mouth an hour after a meal! She is doing much better accepting new foods, but is still very particular about textures. Congee and cereal was a large portion of her diet in the CWI...
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