I don't know what you are thankful for, but we are thankful to have our family together after three years of waiting! We are thankful that Cassidy is getting to experience her first Thanksgiving! We are thankful for progress!
Since I last wrote, lots of things have taken place! I have put Cassidy to bed six times. The first time she seemed to cry forever. She cried so much that I made a point to time how long she cried the second time... 24 minutes. Then she only cried for 10 minutes the next time. There was actually an attempt after that which I'm not counting because I didn't think she was ready for bed when the process was initiated, so I handed her off to her mother in order for her to enjoy the fruits of her insistence that she was ready. The next time I tried, which was last Saturday, she didn't cry at all. That sounds like we made it over the last hurdle but she was back to crying on Sunday night. She only cried for about three minutes that night. The great thing about those events was that she slept through the night in her own crib three of those times. (Those would be the only three times she made it through the night in her own crib.)
Shari was so desperate for a completely undisturbed night of sleep a few nights ago that she really wanted to test that connection. Well, I'd only put her to bed on a weeknight once before, and that seemed to pose a problem. There is something about me not being around during the day that works against her receptiveness to me. She cried and cried... but I am wise beyond my years... or just lucky. Against Shari's judgment, I had allowed her to continue to hold a little toy bottle while I rocked her. After so much crying, I decided to test a little tough love. I took the bottle from her... which really hacked her off. (I relearned that she has a higher gear above the routine, ordinary sob.) I looked her in the eyes and said, "Shhh." When she quieted momentarily, I handed her the toy. When she started to cry again, I took the bottle away again and said, "Ahhh..." I repeated, "Shhh." When she quieted again, I handed her the toy. She didn't cry again, and then she was asleep within two minutes. She's a very smart girl. (She gets that from Shari.)
So have we gotten over the final hurdle? Well, even if we had, I imagine that she'd reserve the right to climb back over the hurdle again, so we could enjoy some of the unpleasant stuff. From that standpoint, I guess the final hurdle will be the end of the regressing. Other than that, the hurdle will fall whenever she no longer acts as though she is settling for me. It's either that or perhaps when my holding her calms her as consistently as Shari's holding her. She's so fond of Mama that she stops sobbing if she so much as thinks she's being handed over to Shari. The act of handing her over takes her from red-faced wailing to silence and sighs of relief in no time at all. It's interesting to observe... and still moderately deflating.
But enough about me, you're here to read about Cassidy. She has endured a lot of medical junk lately. Just two days ago (or was it yesterday?), she survived three therapist visits. The most interesting things we learned is that she verbally grades out at a nine-month-old level (she's 22 months old now), and her motor skills are at a year-old level. Neither of which is insurmountable for such a smart girl. Last week, she got to experience two trips to Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital to be evaluated by doctors who are a lot smarter than we are. We've been told that it's highly likely that the Chinese diagnosed her incorrectly but that it's probably still a vascular issue. In English, the good news in that no one is thinking cancer since it has been stable in size since birth. The bad news is that it probably won't go away without treatment. The doctors are in the process of setting up an imaging session at Barnes in order to determine just exactly what we're dealing with and exactly what the treatment needs to consist of.
What else? I guess the most interesting tidbit occurred on the 19th when I was left to take care of the kids. First of all, it's interesting whenever Shari leaves the house, because Cassidy seems to automatically default to me as the go-to person. If she's upset and crying, I'm suddenly in the position to calm her down immediately. The downside is that I get put back in my place the second Mama returns home. Anyway, on this particular night, most of us were sitting on the couch, and Cass was sitting on my left knee, facing away from me towards the television. Katie was sitting immediately to my right, practicing writing her name on a Magnadoodle. For the most part, Cass and I were watching "America's Funniest Home Videos." She was wide awake, totally focused on the show, and completely content as she sat on my knee and leaned forward into my left hand placed around her belly.
Katie asked me to look at what she'd written. I looked to my right, told her she needed to switch a couple letters, and looked back in the direction of Cassidy. In the span of roughly five-to-ten seconds, she had gone from wide-eyed awake to being asleep in my hand. She then slept on my chest for the next half hour. It was sweet! Then she woke up screaming. Not so sweet...
Don't be alarmed, though. We do not have a narcoleptic on our hands. The doctor assured us that it is highly likely that she is just now decompressing and coming down off the high-alert mode she's been on for a month now. She's simply that relaxed.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving. Appreciate your family! Even the ones you normally don't appreciate...
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Blogging in the Real World
Well you've probably realized by now that it's been awhile since the last blog. (I apologize for spoiling you with daily updates early on.) It is just so hard to find the time to blog with real life happening. Who knew a job and parenting three additional kids could be so time consuming?! It would help if we had internet access at home, but that's still no guarantee that I would find the time. When you are the unfavored one in the international adoption equation thousands of miles from home, you have nothing but time no matter how demanding the child's needs are. I'll have you know that I'm going out of my way to update you with the latest and greatest.
First and foremost, Monday night represented the first night she willingly let me change her poopy diaper. She was so stunned that she was allowing herself to be changed by me (or that I was even attempting it) that she actually laid completely still. I have since changed her diaper a few more times, and she no longer chooses to be so compliant. She thinks it's absolutely hysterical to make a wiggle-worm game out of the ordeal. It doesn't help that Katie and Shari also find it funny when I'm doing the job.
We have been home for two weeks now, and lots of good things have happened. By the second full day of being home, she allowed me to pick her up without requiring the art of distraction. By November 8th, she actually came to me to pick her up. By November 9th, she actually left Shari's arms to come to me. (Of course, she decided she wanted to go right back after 15 seconds). On Monday, she was luke warm to me for some reason. On Tuesday, she was back to liking me during regular business hours. Wednesday was pretty good as well.
We have learned that I represent a roller coaster to her. She loves to be lifted high in the air and swung to and fro (all with OSHA-compliant safety harnesses in place of course). She loves to chase after her siblings while being held by a running daddy or bigger brother. She loves to be spun on the Sit-and-Spin - but only for two or three revolutions at a time. She loves to play in the basement, which is where Daddy always takes her when she is in an unsnappable crying fit. When she has realized she is going downstairs, she has quieted down immediately each time. (Now that I have put this in writing, it will no longer work.)
What else have we found out? Well, she seems to like American food. We had been content to continue giving her a standard formula bottle, but our pediatrician switched us over to Pediasure in a sippy cup immediately. He also encouraged us to delve into real food as much as possible. So far, we've learned that she loves chicken (both in regular and nugget form), beef, vegetables... pizza...
We've also learned that she's pretty protective of her turf. She's relatively fierce. Her angry face rivals my own. When she's mad about something, there is no wondering about it. She is quick to hit, kick, and bite. If someone else tries to move in on Mommy, she is quick to try to wedge herself between them. She can go from laughter to anger and back again in 0.5 seconds (I've clocked her.). She doesn't like time outs. She likes to make messes with green beans. My favorite discovery - which we made relatively early on - is her laugh. Her laugh is every bit as wonderful as the other kids'. I probably tickle her too much just because I enjoy the laugh. (Then the kids try to tickle her right after me and hack her off...)
Shari and I are convinced that she likes her brothers and sister. She is definitely fond of Jake. He is just the right age and size. He is big enough to confidently and securely hoist her around all over the house but small enough that he's not as physically intimidating as his very manly father. She runs hot and cold with the other two, though - mostly because they are overexuberant with their attention towards her. They say they are playing with her, but the casual observer easily surmises that "playing" equals "picking at." If they aren't "tickling" her, they are pushing her from behind as she walks in an effort to make her run. If they aren't pushing her from behind, they are moving in front of her to block her path. If they aren't trying to "play" with her, they are snatching one of their personal toys out of her hand - which goes over ever so well.
Of course, we're not in the clear on everything yet. Sleep time is still a challenge. Shari rocks her to sleep and puts her in her crib around 9:00 each night. She usually lasts two-to-three hours in her crib before she wakes up crying. One of us then gets her and brings her to our bed where she normally has to fall asleep laying on Shari. She is then repositioned on the bed between us. If she wakes up in the night, she makes sure she as close to Shari as possible (and as far from me). We are not at a place in our relationship where I can console her. That privilege is given exclusively to Mommy. When we get to place where my holding her calms her, I will know I have arrived.
Other than that, we have noticed that the girl does not cry. She can fall face-first on a hard toy, and she only whimpers and then quiets down completely. She may rub the affected area, but she doesn't make a peep otherwise. She kind of blankly stares off for awhile. It's strange... kind of like the shrieking at night in the absence of Mommy.
That's it for now.
First and foremost, Monday night represented the first night she willingly let me change her poopy diaper. She was so stunned that she was allowing herself to be changed by me (or that I was even attempting it) that she actually laid completely still. I have since changed her diaper a few more times, and she no longer chooses to be so compliant. She thinks it's absolutely hysterical to make a wiggle-worm game out of the ordeal. It doesn't help that Katie and Shari also find it funny when I'm doing the job.
We have been home for two weeks now, and lots of good things have happened. By the second full day of being home, she allowed me to pick her up without requiring the art of distraction. By November 8th, she actually came to me to pick her up. By November 9th, she actually left Shari's arms to come to me. (Of course, she decided she wanted to go right back after 15 seconds). On Monday, she was luke warm to me for some reason. On Tuesday, she was back to liking me during regular business hours. Wednesday was pretty good as well.
We have learned that I represent a roller coaster to her. She loves to be lifted high in the air and swung to and fro (all with OSHA-compliant safety harnesses in place of course). She loves to chase after her siblings while being held by a running daddy or bigger brother. She loves to be spun on the Sit-and-Spin - but only for two or three revolutions at a time. She loves to play in the basement, which is where Daddy always takes her when she is in an unsnappable crying fit. When she has realized she is going downstairs, she has quieted down immediately each time. (Now that I have put this in writing, it will no longer work.)
What else have we found out? Well, she seems to like American food. We had been content to continue giving her a standard formula bottle, but our pediatrician switched us over to Pediasure in a sippy cup immediately. He also encouraged us to delve into real food as much as possible. So far, we've learned that she loves chicken (both in regular and nugget form), beef, vegetables... pizza...
We've also learned that she's pretty protective of her turf. She's relatively fierce. Her angry face rivals my own. When she's mad about something, there is no wondering about it. She is quick to hit, kick, and bite. If someone else tries to move in on Mommy, she is quick to try to wedge herself between them. She can go from laughter to anger and back again in 0.5 seconds (I've clocked her.). She doesn't like time outs. She likes to make messes with green beans. My favorite discovery - which we made relatively early on - is her laugh. Her laugh is every bit as wonderful as the other kids'. I probably tickle her too much just because I enjoy the laugh. (Then the kids try to tickle her right after me and hack her off...)
Shari and I are convinced that she likes her brothers and sister. She is definitely fond of Jake. He is just the right age and size. He is big enough to confidently and securely hoist her around all over the house but small enough that he's not as physically intimidating as his very manly father. She runs hot and cold with the other two, though - mostly because they are overexuberant with their attention towards her. They say they are playing with her, but the casual observer easily surmises that "playing" equals "picking at." If they aren't "tickling" her, they are pushing her from behind as she walks in an effort to make her run. If they aren't pushing her from behind, they are moving in front of her to block her path. If they aren't trying to "play" with her, they are snatching one of their personal toys out of her hand - which goes over ever so well.
Of course, we're not in the clear on everything yet. Sleep time is still a challenge. Shari rocks her to sleep and puts her in her crib around 9:00 each night. She usually lasts two-to-three hours in her crib before she wakes up crying. One of us then gets her and brings her to our bed where she normally has to fall asleep laying on Shari. She is then repositioned on the bed between us. If she wakes up in the night, she makes sure she as close to Shari as possible (and as far from me). We are not at a place in our relationship where I can console her. That privilege is given exclusively to Mommy. When we get to place where my holding her calms her, I will know I have arrived.
Other than that, we have noticed that the girl does not cry. She can fall face-first on a hard toy, and she only whimpers and then quiets down completely. She may rub the affected area, but she doesn't make a peep otherwise. She kind of blankly stares off for awhile. It's strange... kind of like the shrieking at night in the absence of Mommy.
That's it for now.
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